The Boston Bomber-Tamerlan
We can so easily see that he is cut into thirds. One third a haughty warrior who desires an inordinate amount of attention, one third a cold cunning anger, and one third a nice person who is drowned out by the cold, haughty warrior driven by cunning intellect. That is the definition of Tamerlan.
I ask to have a conversation with Tamerlan in meditation this morning and am immediately transported to where he now resides in spirit. He stands with a short, dark haired older woman who feels like a relative and is one of those who greeted him when he crossed over.
Numerous visions of his life are projected into the air around us and what shows through the strongest is how incredibly angry he was in this life. Tamerlan was literally a walking time bomb. Very, very uptight-in fact he was strung so tight it would not have taken much to set off his hair trigger temper. Arrogant warrior would be the best two-word description of him…arrogant warrior combined with a cold cunning that did not allow him to feel or experience life lightly.
In one of the visions he is shown standing in spirit on the other side before his birth into this life. One of the aspects he is bringing in from a past life is an amazing warrior, who is proud of his physique and strength, a roman gladiator who knew no weakness. But instead of the honor of his Roman warrior, he brings in a cold cunning.
He also brings in the ability to read people really well. This is important in his life because it begins when he is just a young child. You combine the ability to read people very well with his natural cold cunning and you have the ability to manipulate at an early age.
Another important piece in viewing his birth is the fact that when he entered the body he felt it was too small. He felt cramped. This set off the need for immediate escape, along with the restlessness of being “caged.”
Tamerlane’s dislike of the world started when quite young. Seems like everywhere he turned, there was anger and violence, both inside and outside the home. He experienced both of his parents as volatile and he quickly tired of their fighting and learned to dislike his father immensely because of it.
It is his belief that his parents loved him, but did not pay enough attention to him. Now Tamerlan has a gargantuan need for attention, so did they not give him enough attention, or was it his unusually large need for it?
By the time they move to the states he is glad of the adventure, but is scared. Because he is a warrior he is easily ashamed of himself if he is scared of anything. When he arrives in the states he finds the sights and sounds are very different, but he is adventurous enough to try to enjoy it, try to fit in. When you look beneath the cold cunning that he is born with, you see a nice child who would like to easily celebrate life, but he is born way too serious for that. By the age of 9 or 10 he has become somewhat ashamed of his parents because in his mind, and mind you he is intelligent, he sees their struggles, and has come to feel that his father is somewhat of a loser. Tamerlan cannot stand shame, for he believes himself to be a great warrior. While he views his father as being weak, he sees his mother as volatile and cunning. But she is a female, therefore weak and more easily dismissed because she cannot be the great male warrior that he is. Tamerlan “knows” so much, feels very deeply, and takes life too seriously. That is not a good combination when combined with the anger and cunning he brought in.
By the time he is a teenager, around 16-17, he knows this is not a world he wants or desires. He sees people as vapid, vacant, silly, and too often, stupid. He now desires women and struggles within himself over that, because women are weak compared to his warrior self and he will not let one rule him, ever! His restlessness continues to make him feel like a caged animal, and now he is stuck inside a city life that has no meaning. These are the things going on deep down inside of him. He is old beyond his years and has been since he was a child. We can so easily see that he is cut into thirds. One third a haughty warrior who desires an inordinate amount of attention, one third a cold cunning anger, and one third a nice person who is being drowned out by the cold, haughty warrior driven by the cunning intellect. That is the definition of Tamerlan.
He thrives on the attention that boxing brings to him. He loves acting out his warrior who is free to be violent, but he cannot stand to lose. He might have learned to smile if he lost, but inside he seethed that anyone less intelligent than him could get the best of him and he does view most people as his inferiors, both intellectually and physically.
Religiously speaking, in his twenties he begins to think it might be his job to fight for his God, yet he doesn’t have a true definition of God. It’s twisted up in his mind because of that strain of nice person that he has. But this “religious” world offers to him an excuse to kill. He has a very, very cold anger inside that drives him, plain and simple. Does he really believe in a God that he needs to fight for? No, but he is extremely angry at the world, so if he fights for Allah, it is simply an excuse to get the world’s attention, both personally and morally. The desperate need he has for attention is amazing. The sad part is, Tamerlan knows deep down that he will never have it because he is incredibly scared that he is doomed to live a life such as his father, scared that he is doomed to be a loser. He doesn’t see a way out of his family, so why not resort to violence, which feeds the cruel streak in him as a bonus.
When we get to the time of the bombings, I am shown that about six or seven months previous to the bombings something triggers in him the knowing that violence is the path he will take. It becomes absolute in that moment. He sees without a doubt that the majority of life’s paths are closed to him, that there is no chance for him. In his opinion the world is horribly screwed up and doesn’t require his superiority. In fact, quite the opposite from what he can see. Nobody really wants him anywhere, and the world calls to him angrily, a call he cannot resist for he is a warrior and he is cold inside, so very, very cold.
He has a true hatred for women at this point also. It has always been brewing but now it has gotten worse. One of the reasons for the bombing of the runners is the fact that they run around half naked, but the biggest reason was to get the world’s attention because the runners came from all over the world.
Again, where is his message? This is what I ask. Why is there no message if he is going to blow people up? If he is so concerned with the world, why did he not leave a message?
I can only see a cold, hard-boiled, arrogant person who is being driven by that cunning anger. He has a need to kill and therefore does. He didn’t truly need an excuse as much as he needed an opportunity. He is not killing for his Allah-he is killing because it suits him. He was born with the seeds of the ticking time bomb, which successfully grew into the bomb that finally blew.
But he is now in spirit, where he is shedding his life as he reviews it. He is in Spirit, which means the human anger and coldness has passed along with his life. He is in spirit that judges not the human life because spirit receives with love.
The spirit guides have taught me for years that these lives of ours are divine order and now they say that Tamerlan did not do anything he was not asked or led to do. The guides teach that spirit is always in operation in this crazy world we live in.
Divine order continues to be difficult for me to understand, but I do believe that spirit directs all of our movements, for this is spirit’s world, not ours.
We are born to a violent planet when we come to Earth. There are those born for the peace, while others are born for the violence, and this we call balance.
As difficult as it is, we bless each and every life knowing it is of god, spirit, or however it is that you call our divine intelligence.
Our hearts go out to those who experience the violence of life on this planet Earth, while we bless each and every day that we personally do not have to experience it firsthand.